a) Yes, I've been dying to meet you since I first saw your profile on Match, let's meet even sooner...maybe Thursday? OR
b) I don't think I can meet up for a drink on Friday night because I'm getting back into bike racing and have a race on Sunday - how about next week?
I DO NOT understand people's obsession with bike racing/riding. I mean, I like to work out and all and sometimes schedule other things around it for sure, but turning a girl down? Come on buddy. Maybe I'll tell him I'm too busy washing my hair after work next week and he'll get the hint. Or maybe I'm being too harsh and realizing how excited I am to meet this boy and he's just procrastinating the process.
Well, he better hurry up because I'm also emailing with two other dudes. And they don't ride bikes.
My advice- He now knows you're interested in meeting in person, so leave the ball in his court. Anyone can send emails but if they are really interested they'll set something up and ask a girl out. Oh wait- I see that he suggested next week as a response.
ReplyDeleteThis outcome is entirely up to you, but I wouldn't let it be a dealbreaker if it were me. Your request may have been very last-minute for him and it sounds like he's had these bike plans for a while. I think you should have waited for him to ask you out but that's a different topic altogether. If the situation was reversed and he asked you out, you said, oh how does next week look, this weekedn doesn't work for me-and he was insulted, then how would you view the situation?
Remember, in the end, he didn't flat out say 'no' and leave it at that, he did suggest next week-- i'd give him a chance and basically tell him when you might be available and leave it up to him.
You know the must haves and can't stands lists? You need to stick with those as dealbreakers and be willing to 'negotiate', if you will, on everything else. Is the fact that a guy may have a passion for a particular sport so much so that he may prioritize it every now and then in his schedule a dealbreaker? There is a reason the list is limited and you aren't allowed to "select all that apply"---no one is perfect. But if it is something you really aren't willing to deal with...
one last thing -
it is not uncommon for happy couples to talk about somethign that one said or did or didn't do early on in knowing each other which almost became a dealbreaker for the whole relationship. If they had followed through they would have never known all they would have missed.
(Finally and most importantly, I'm not trying to be mean here, I'm hoping to give you different perspectives b/c i know what it's like to be caught up in the moment and emotionally involved- sometimes it helps to see the situation from an ouside perspective. I was single once and though I don't know you, I do wish the best for you-see how much time i took to type this up?-, and I want you to find a guy who would be great for you--i don't want one potential to slip away. If he did this over and over again, yeah, forget him--but this is his first "offense", if one can even call it that, which I wouldn't. Ask the advice of those who are married and have been there, done that, who know YOU--I obviously don't know all that is involved here)
Finally someone to take the pressure off me. Great advice Unsolicited babbling-er.
ReplyDeleteML Tapas, give the guy a break.
I hope he has studded snow tires on his bike!
ReplyDeleteSo this post was so chat worthy that some gals discussed it on a bike ride yesterday! And here was our consensus: any guy that claims he needs 2 days before a race is making excuses. You'd be totally warranted to tell him you're washing your hair this week! Because you deserve an awesome dude who's as excited to see you as you are to see him. So keep being discerning lady, that is a good thing, and filtering out these mediocre fellas is certainly not a crime.
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