The Long Haul

Well, guess I am in for the long haul, I wasn't quick enough and Match went ahead and charged me for 3 more months... So I guess having a date for New Years can be parlayed into finding a date for Valentines Day.
I guess it can't be too bad.
On the upside I found like 13 super cuties that I am trying to communicate with! Let's see what happens!

I'm back....

So I have to apologize...seriously all you faithful followers and I haven't written in MONTHS! And of course I have a lot to update you on:

1. BOY#1: If any of you remember me blogging about Baskin Robbins ice cream and my Bubble Gum flavored man...well we are still talking! This guy "Fast-tracked" me on our very first day (Oct. 1st) and I was hesitant to respond, but I would have to say I am so glad that I did. We hung out a lot in the beginning of meeting each other(maybe possibly kissed a few times), but then realized that we wanted to just not rush things (since I have found online dating does moved things way faster than I would like) and we are doing the friend thing. I'm excited to see where things go, but honestly right now feel as if we will just be friends. He is a good guy to know though....I think I will keep blogging about him though cause who knows what will happen.

2. BOY#2: I have been needing to respond to the matching up with the same guy as Must Love Coffee and Skyscrapers...yes now this has been interesting. He found a picture on her profile that had me in it...she told me...and then once him and I were at open communication I mentioned it to him! ha Long story short I started talking to the guy, but to be honest quite hesitant...I don't know if it was more of the "finally a guy wants to talk" or "I might actually be interested." It ends up that we talked on the computer and then phone and then finally went out on a date. So hes a nice guy...just not for me at all. There is a lot to say about this guy because he is still around...still texting...and I am not sure how to say it won't work, or if I even need to. Not sure what hes thinking. I will have to say that he has figured out how to still come out with me and my friends by running a race that my friend and I ran (she talked to him to whole time to help me out). If your still reading, here is a FUNNY story for you:

So I have decided I might want to milk this whole process for what its worth. So I
went skiing with one of my friends and found out that boy #2 was up at Breckenridge as well.
He texted me and said if I wanted maybe we could meet up with him...so I asked him if he
could meet us up at the Lodge for lunch. (And bring us Subway while he was at it! ha-
free food, right?!) And of course he did. So my friend got to meet him...agreed he was nice,
possibly gay, and not for me. Here is where the story gets good....so boy #1-bubble gum
guy calls and says hes up in Breck if I wanted to meet up after skiing for a beer. So of
course since I'm a bit interested in him I say yes. My friend and I walk into the Brewery
and low in behold....
boy #2 was sitting at the bar and boy #1 was about 20 feet away waiting for me!!! So what
do I do....I quickly walk past the bar, looking down and quickly get to boy #1. ha ha The
day was so hilarious and basically I don't know what to say, but it was a moment to
remember!!

3. As far as what the next year looks like....I decided with the challenge that was posted...I went through my inbox and the ones that I'm "communicating" with, I fast-tracked them all!! ha ha I thought what is the quickest way for me to get in touch with them (get their email) so once my membership is up I can still talk to them. So now, I am talking to two more guys through personal emails. I just felt like I needed to get whatever I could in the last few days....this way I can keep blogging about possibilities, but I won't be extending my membership I know that for sure. I can't afford it! AND I just want to meet someone naturally really....which reminds me...I did go on a date with a guy (not from eharm) but meet him through boy#1 (he is a friend of a friend of boy#1) Yeah no worries, not going to work out, but I guess I would say I got to go on a date...not going to lie...free food is pretty nice perks of doing this!

4. Last thing: I don't have a date for NYE, I don't have a boyfriend, but I am also completely content. This has been a really interesting process...its kind of fun, but I also didn't take it too seriously. Just wanted to meet some people....the right guy will come at the right time. I'm confident of that!

Thanks for being patient with me....and if you have read this far on my blog, thanks! I am so impressed with all of you followers!

Next Steps...

Well ladies, we are in the final stretch. I think that ONE of us has a date for NYE, while the rest of us are in different stages of being okay with it.
I am leaning more toward "okay" than "bitter" this year. I definitely oscillate, but I am kind of okay with the situation this year. Here are some reasons....
- I would rather have a New Year's Eve with someone who has potential to be someone really important in my life, not just someone alive and breathing.
- Most of my "Must Love" sisters are also single. (I hope that this doesn't make me sound shallow, but it would be REALLY hard to have a positive outlook if everyone else had a date and I was going to be home alone nursing my already fragile ego)
- I am bummed that 3 months wasn't enough time to find someone to be interested in. I have only met 2 people, one of which I am sure there is no romantic chemistry.
- I know that when it is right, it WILL be right.

So what do we do now? Do we continue in this experiment? Do we disband? While I have had every different emotion in regard to online dating, part of me doesn't really want to let it go, let it expire. I feel that at least being online gives me just a bit more opportunity to meet guys. God knows that there aren't any single men at my church(es) and very few at the workplace. At least being online gives me an opportunity to see some men that are single. It gives me space to try to learn about relationships and communication and boys and myself.
What do you think... Do you have any plans for Jan 1?

What are you doing New Years Eve?

I just learned how to play this song on the guitar. Not all of you may know this little gem of a song, but it goes something like this:

Maybe it’s much too early in the game
Ah, but I thought I’d ask you just the same
What are you doing New Year’s
New Year’s Eve?

Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight
When it’s exactly twelve o’clock that night
Welcoming in the New Year
New Year’s Eve

Maybe I’m crazy to suppose
I’d ever be the one you chose
Out of a thousand invitations
You’d receive

Ah, but in case I stand one little chance
Here comes the jackpot question in advance
What are you doing New Year’s
New Year’s Eve?

Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight
When it’s exactly twelve o’clock that night
Welcoming in the New Year
New Year’s Eve

What are you doing New Year’s Eve?

So, while the romantic in me still thinks and hopes that with 10 days to go, I may yet find a special someone to spend NYE with, the practical side of me thinks that is just silly, and, besides, I'd probably have more fun with my friends on NYE than with someone I've only just met. Last year I started dating a guy a couple weeks before NYE. I made the decision to skip a concert I had wanted to go to in order to go to the party he was going to attennd. So, I had a terrible time hanging out with no one I knew on NYE except him (and all those people were too into their playstation games or whatever to even want to meet me), and all the time thinking, hmm, all of this, just for a kiss at midnight? Maybe its not worth it. We broke up a week later.

So here I sit, actively communicating with two nice guys on eharmony, my "New matches" box all cleared out, poised and ready to start a new year not online. I have a new scheme up my sleve. Maybe I'll blog about it later. And maybe I'll write a bluesly little ditty with a nice walking bass line about our online dating woes. We can have a showing at our next get-together.

it's official....

I have a date for New Year's! and a boyfriend to boot. not sure how he claimed that title so quickly, but it feels right and things are going really well. Not sure yet what we are doing for New Year's Eve but we know we'll be together and we are already planning a trip to CA in February too:) I don't want to write too much more because I haven't mentioned this blog to him, but I will soon.

My words of encouragement are to the other ladies on this blog - yes, there are still some strange boys out there that some of us have gone on dates with....but, I'm encouraged by meeting this guy and knowing that there are still great men out there that treat you like a lady, are funny, like your friends and still is close with his family. There is hope.

A Possibility

So, I went on my first date of this experience on Friday. As you may remember, my first meeting was only after I won a bet, so that doesn't count. I had only talked with my date a couple times over Match. We hadn't really talked of much when he asked to meet me. I was a little apprehensive, but agreed. He came to pick me up, and I was glad to see that he was dressed casually. I had a fear that I would be under-dressed, but it worked out. He picked me up at my house, which is another slightly nerve wracking decision. What if this guy turns out to be a complete whack job who now knows where I sleep... but I was happy to be wrong.
We went for dinner. He let me pick the place since he doesn't live in Boulder. We went to a place what I like, but don't frequent too terribly often. There were LOTS of people as I opened the door, and to my shock and awe our biggest fan was just inside the door!!
I kinda felt outed, busted, by the fact that someone else was privy to my goal, recognized that I was on a first date and about the fact that we had met over the internet.... luckily my date went to put our names on the waiting list, so we were able to say hi and confirm that this in fact was a first date, and that he is someone I met online.
It took a while to get seated, but we talked of travel and family and cities we'd lived in.
We were seated and had a great meal, good conversation and before we knew it 3 hours and a bottle of wine had gone by!
SIDE NOTE: During dinner, feeling brave, I let PART of the cat out of the bag as far as Must Love Us... I told him that a bunch of girls and I had all started online dating at the same time to see if we could get New Years' dates. He let me know that he couldn't be my New Years' date since he had already made plans to go out of town.

So, my date went well. I definitely see potential for friendship here, and I am gonna wait to make a decision on anything else. We made tentative plans to hang out again. I am happy to have made a connection.

single on the 31st

Well, New Year's Eve is less than two weeks away, and I am 99% sure that I will not have a date. My time on eHarmony has been interesting -- educational and revealing, really -- but there have honestly been zero guys that I have truly been interested in. Perhaps it's because I haven't been as open to the idea as I should be. (As I've mentioned before, I really don't want to meet someone this day, but I'm trying to be open to it.) Or perhaps I really wasn't matched up with anyone that I should have been interested in.

At this point, I'm considering continuing my subscription into January. A little bird told me that a lot of guys join around that time of the year . . . you know, it's winter, right after the holidays 00 after they have spent a week at home, listening to their parents ask them when they're going to give them grandchildren. What do you think? Should I continue?

my update...

I've had four dates now. The first one was... interesting, but no sparks, so he said he wanted to pursue working on himself, and then nudged a good friend (also doing this experiment) the same day. awesome. The second one and I had a blast but have TOTALLY different trajectories for the future, so although we got along great, we just ended it. The third is still pending. Although he's perfect on paper, we're getting together after the new year to see where this goes, if anywhere. I had the fourth one today- we went to my favorite pub in Boulder and laughed the whole time and had a really great time together. He's going out of the country for over a month, so we'll see if he calls when he gets back. So although it's another holiday season single, things are kind-of looking up on a bright note. Another NYE with my lady friends again, which has become ok with me in this time of singleness, but I'd like #4 in the US at least to have him around for NYE at least. And that's my update ;)

**do something** update

If you recall, I recently posted expressing my annoyance with a certain match for his very inconsistent communication and lack of action.

Well, he did something...not with me, but still.

I got word he went out on a real live date with Must Love Teens and Beans (nudge, nudge....share with us what happened!!!). I figured he wasn't super interested in me either (phew) and we were passively calling it quits. I hadn't heard from him in weeks. Perfect ending. That's what I wanted-- do something or do nothing. BUT then he comments on my Facebook status the other night! WHY??? Does he think we're friends? Does he think girls don't talk about this kind of thing with each other? Does he just not care? I closed him last week on eHarm; there should be little confusion. Leave it alone.

On a totally different note, I am admitting failure to the posted challenges. Sorry. I was really excited about participating, but see, there's this boy....

And I don't want to talk about it :)

Challenge #2: "Fast Track"

After talking to Must Love Banjos and Paris tonight, I decided that someone needed to throw out another challenge to the group. Here goes...

Dear Must Love Us ladies,
Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to "Fast Track" the guy in your match inbox that you are most interested in that hasn't started communication with you yet. I'm not sure what the equivalent of "Fast Track" is on Match.com, but if you are on eHarmony.com you know what I mean. "Fast Track" on eHarmony.com means that you skip all of the guided questions and go straight to "Open Communication" or emailing within the eHarmony.com site. We only have a few more weeks of our 3 month challenge left and New Year's Eve is creeping up on us quickly.
Good Luck Ladies.
Must Love Fireworks and Red Wine

The "10" Challenge

Ok ok... I took the photo off. I cant actually conceive that this guy would be reading the blog... but... whatever. Here's the text of the original post:

I did it everyone, I went through my 10 oldest matches. Now, my oldest match is from October 4^th….. um, yes that’s right… I had a lot of matches from those early days that I didn’t do anything with. As I go through my matches, I’m realizing that eHarmony isn’t nearly so bad as I once thought. There seem to be a lot of genuinely nice Christian guys out there, who are intelligent and who like adventures; and I have initiated communication with a number a them. I also found the above gem in my matches as well (I tried to edit the photo to protect the identity of the innocent - scratch that, I have now removed the photo). Hey, if eHarmony matched me with this guy, that simply bodes well. (The photo was of a very handsome man holding a baby, which happened to show off his nice muscles - clearly he knew the power of this photo, which is why he put it on eHarmony) Bicep, um, I mean Handsome Man, holding friend’s baby. And he also happens to be a Carpenter (drool) and of course is an awesome Christian (as told to me by my friends who happen to know him). Ladies… he hasn’t responded to my request to communicate yet, so he may be looking for you!

we love our grandfathers and our friends.

this blog is in response to must love banjos and paris' challenge.

5 closed. 2 communicated with. 3 picture requests.

literally, i closed 5 guys because they apparently "don't read much". how do educated adults not read?

here are the 2 lucky lads that i decided to "communicate" with:
bachelor #1

Occupation:	Industrial Technician/Student
Age:	25
Height:	5' 11"

why did i start communicating with him?
he loves his grandfather and it's cute.

The most influential person in (insert name)'s life has been:

• My Grandfather. He's never had to set me down to give me advice, he just consistently lives his life and loves the people around him. I've learned more about what it is to be a good man by watching him than anything else.

bachelor #2

Occupation:	Realtor and property manager
Age:	28
Height:	5' 10"

why did i start communicating with him?
he loves his friends.

(insert name) typically spends his leisure time:

• I love just hanging out with friends, having great conversation, being free to say whatever we want, being funny, helping each other with the things we're thinking about/going through. I love going out with friends, meeting people, going to different places, laughing. I love reading, thinking, and travelling with friends. i hate writing this stuff too

challenge #1

(illustration from http://www.pineconeandchickadee.com/)

The girls and I have decided to spice things up in December . . . kind of like adding rum to your eggnog. I mean, eggnog is good alone -- delicious, actually -- but add a little liquor, and things get interesting (and more delicious) fast. What I'm trying to say is, well, let's hope the blog gets a little spicier. (No, not like that!)

So here we go . . . the first of several challenges:

I, Must Love Banjos and Paris, hereby challenge my fellow bloggers to log into their chosen dating website (sounds kind of lame, huh?), and review their 10 oldest matches. You know, those 10 from October that you aren't brave enough to talk to, but are nervous to close because they seem potentially kind of great. After carefully analyzing their profiles and photos, either close them out or initiate communication.

Let's see how it goes!

And now . . . eggnog . . . mmm . . .

Anticipation

Anticipation in the wake of suspended promises.
We wait. We pine. we see that what IS isn't what should be, what could be, what we hope for.
We know the promise, we see the future, we long for that to be reality.
We wait in anticipation. We wait with excitement happy for the day to come. We wait anxiously feeling the pain of things not yet realized. We wait with faith, KNOWING, BELIEVING and TRUSTING that it will be done here. Soon.

dear readers -- part 2

Well, we only had one question from one of you, so I'll go ahead and answer it. :)

The question was, "How do you all know each other?"

We all live in the same town, Boulder, CO -- well, for the most part. One of the girls recently moved to Denver.

As for specifics . . . I'll tell you how I, personally, know each girl (hopefully, this doesn't give too many hints regarding their identity):

Must Love Coffee & Skyscrapers: used to work together, and we became friends there

Must Love Tapas & Tannins: through mutual friends

Must Love Art & Music: went to college together

Must Love Blizzards & Basslines: through mutual friends

Must Love Passports & People: met through a mutual friend, and we're coworkers

Must Love Fireworks & Red Wine: went to college together

Must Love Teens & Beans: through mutual friends

Any more questions?

Oh, and we're thinking about each filling out a little questionnaire. What would you like to know about us, specifically?

dear readers

Dear Readers,

It occurred to me, after spending some time with one of you (yeah, you know who you are!) tonight, that you may have some questions for us.

Are there things you want to know? Perhaps a general question about the blog or the process? Or maybe you want to know more about a specific situation? Our current state of mind?

Feel free to submit your questions in the comments section of this post. We'll discuss amongst ourselves and address them as well as we can.

Thanks for reading!

Must Love Banjos & Paris

do Something!

so there's this boy,

the same boy who has been talking to 2 of us must love girls for over a month,

who tells us that he's talking to the other one and enjoying getting to know us both,

and who continues to "talk" to both of us.

He texts me, sometimes.

He emails me very long emails, sometimes.

That's it.

I kinda feel like this is a case of "He's Just Not That Into You."

Except he keeps popping up....why???

Why is nothing new happening here?

He needs to do something. Pick a girl, meet a girl...do something.

I don't want to be the one to do something- that's the boy's job!

And I want a guy who knows that's his job.

Come on December...treat us well...make something happen, with someone!!!

Inspiration

Well, it's official, I have a fourth date with a boy tomorrow night. And to top that off, the day after that date we are heading on a trip together out of town with some of his friends for the weekend. Gulp. I feel like things are moving really fast but in my experience, that's what online dating does for any relationship. None of this, does he want to be dating someone right now or does he just like me as a friend or what exactly. It's refreshing to be completely honest. And this is the point where I hoped one of us bloggers would get - where you like someone enough not to write about your relationship online. So I guess I am to that point, although after 48 plus hours together this weekend, things might be different! If you don't hear from me, assume I still have a date for New Year's Eve:)

Follow up on Panera...

He was really nice, it was a nice meet over coffee, I didn't even realize that 3 hours had gone by when I looked at my watch. He's going to India today for two weeks, so we're going to try and get together before I leave to go home for Christmas.Not an huge sparks yet, but I'll be patient- maybe after a few times of getting together?

But I can't help but resonate with some of the other posts on here- especially about the holidays and being single for yet another Christmas while my little sister will be at Christmas with her husband and continuing to lament inside about "why me?". I'm trying to have a good attitude, but it's just not happening yet. I totally agree with Banjo's and Paris- I have the same mood swings ;) I just want a mountain man who likes to travel and isn't scared off by my life circumstances- will that ever happen?