Confessions: I read books that look interesting on the outside.
I buy wine that is marked with a well designed label.
I "communicate" with men that I find physically attractive.
I buy wine that is marked with a well designed label.
I "communicate" with men that I find physically attractive.
I never thought that I was "that person". I never thought I was the kind of person that wouldn't date people because I wasn't physically attractive to them immediately. I always thought that those people were superficial, but I just realized that I am "that person". I have gotten mad at guys in the past that have said things like "you're an amazing woman, but I'm just not attracted to you". Now, I feel like I'm starting to understand what they meant. Yesterday, I received a "communication request" from a guy that on paper looks amazing. He really wants to be working among the poor and oppressed. He plays the guitar and loves going to concerts. He loves to travel and experience new cultures. He reads. Unfortunately, I don't find him attractive at all. Did I answer his "communication request"? Yes. I answered it mainly out of intrigue. Will I close him before we get to "open communication"? Yes. Do I feel bad about that? Yes. I feel horrible. I will push the close button and then a screen will pop up where I get to check a little box. eHarmony will say choose from a list of reasons that finish this statement: "I have decided to close communication because...". I will check the box next to "Other". "Other" in the online dating world means "I don't find you attractive". eHarmony needs to just add "I don't find you attractive" as an option. Let's all just be honest with each other.
Negative about online dating: You have to impress someone by a few photos and words in black and white. More thoughts on this to come...
Negative about online dating: You have to impress someone by a few photos and words in black and white. More thoughts on this to come...
I am right there with you...its ok. Its important to be attracted to them, but it feels cruel, I would agree. Cause don't some people become attractive with their personality?!
ReplyDeleteyeah. don't feel bad, it's definitely important.
ReplyDeleteany possibility you could build ANY sort of attraction? even the eyes or something?
that sucks.
cara
closed him. he is extremely overweight. i know, i'm a horrible person.
ReplyDeleteOk. Hmmm. I love the topic and want to sink my teeth in it.
ReplyDeleteI want to remind you, Fireworks and Red Wine, that the goal here is a date for NYE. Why does everyone want a date on NYE? Because it's tradition to kiss the opposite sex when it comes around. And do we want to kiss someone attractive? YES! Do we want to kiss someone unattractive? NO! And do we want to kiss and kiss and keep kissing after midnight? Yes!
So! We need to find ourselves an attractive date so we don't have to kiss our guy-friend/girl-friend on the cheek or the quick "Mwah!" on the lips when the gong stirkes 12 to ring in 2010, a new decade until the next decade!!! It's going to be NUTS! (Holy shit! I need to find an attractive girl for New Years!!!)
So what I mean by this is to skip every single person you don't think you'll be able to kiss on NYE. It will make finding the date, or at least the process of it, quicker. Don't feel bad about it! Time is running out. But...if you find someone unattractive and yet still intriguing, then bookmark him or whatever you do on online dating to look him up later, AFTER NYE, when you got all the cute pics of the hot guy you made out with on the last day of 2009 and the first day of 2010!
Finally, I want to say this about if you are looking for more than "just the date". Must Love Teens and Beans is right. They DO become more attractive with an attractive personality.
One time I discounted a girl because I wasn't attracted to her. Didn't give her a second thought. As I got to know her, she became attractive. As I got to know her more, she became more beautiful. And then she started dating one of my friends, and she literally turned hot on me. She was so cool and I was very envious of my friend.
Mind you, she wasn't rolled in hot coals. She didn't look like a woman who put glue on her lips and stuck them in a bowl-full of teeth.
She was mildly unattractive, turned hot by personality.
I quote Pulp Fiction when Vincent asks his co-hort, Jules, "Do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?
Jules immediate reply: "I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy, but they're definitely dirty.
But a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way."
So I noticed you described the guy as "extremely overweight." Well this says a lot about his personality: Lazy, eats too much, isn't active, eats a lot of fast food, beer not wine, etc. Personality traits you probably don't want in a boyfriend.
You are not "a horrible person". HE is unattractive more than just physically.
Double Whammy! DELETE immediately!
Sorry fat guys--lay off the Totinos Pizza's and Playstation 3. Eat some veggies and play some Wii.
RRE