Maybe a spinster forever... and learning to be okay with that.

To all of our loyal fans out there, I apologize on our behalf. Our silence is- for lack of of a better word- pathetic. Not much is new in my world- no new boys really, although I did go out with a friend about a month ago and didn't even know that it was a date. At the end of the evening... I turned to go in my house (he was driving), and felt something wet in my ear. Yes ladies and gentlemen... he was making out with my ear. Not only did I not know it was a date, but that made it clear. Um... ever since he has been known not by his name but as "ear boy". Put it on my tab. Awesome. Why do these things keep happening to me?

I have interests around in my life- but MLF&RW has to keep talking me into them and saying you're not a cougar just because you're four years older. I've gone out a few times with someone from Eharm, but I'm just not feeling the chemistry there, so I think I need to just let it go if we both don't know or feel it. Same girl had to say "really, you've only been out a few times- it's not a crime" but just so we're both not hurt or drag this out... maybe I should end it before we get hurt or something. He's really sweet- and he wants to go to Paris- so Banjos... maybe I have someone for you! :) I met with my mentor last week and she wants to set me up with a friend of her's, so we'll see where that goes. I used TO HATE the idea of being set up, but if the person knows me and the other person, then maybe it's not such a bad thing after all. What's there to lose anyway? Really, I don't have high expectations in this realm/area anymore. After everything that I've gone through in the last year especially, I'm learning to just be OK with me, and that's a big enough chore in and of itself. So here's to maybe having to be a spinster forever, and if I am, then I'll go over to S.E. Asia alone and be okay with that. Being with someone would be nice, but I'm not naive enough to think that they will complete me in any way, shape, or form, and that's ok and not what I'm looking for anyway. And there's my update post Valentine's :)
Must Love Art & Music

the end.

(image via le love)

After four months of unsuccessful attempts to meet someone online, I'm putting an end to my eHarmony subscription. Perhaps I'll open it back up at some point, but at least for the month of February, I'm taking a break. After a lot of thought, I've decided that I need to focus on a few other things at the moment, namely loving on myself. "Must love us" have taken on a whole new meaning for me . . . well, I guess it's more like, "must love me." I want to spend more time improving myself, not just because I want to find a boyfriend/husband, but because I want to feel more confident about who I am, which I think, in turn, will make me more appealing to a guy eventually.

This little experiment has opened my eyes to a lot of things:

• I still don't know what I'm looking for.
• I still don't know who I am.
• My girlfriends are so, so, precious to me.
• Online dating isn't as easy as it looks.
• I am not alone in my loneliness.

And I'm thankful for what I've learned.

But don't worry; this isn't the end of my blogging. I'll continue to write about my adventures as a single woman who is learning that she must love herself.

Three dates, one week

Maybe my actions, or interactions of late are exactly the kind of thing that my fellow bloggers hate... I have had three meetings with three guys in one week.
The first was on a Saturday. I got a text out of the blue, asking what I was doing later that night. "Mike" is a guy who I had been talking with and texting for a few weeks. He is a nice guy... He texts often, but mostly simple questions.
Besides, how can you really get to know a person through texting? So... Mike texted, asked me what I was doing and I let him know my availability. He asked if I wanted to get together around 9pm, since I already had dinner plans. I accepted and asked him what he would like to do....
He said that he would like to go to a movie. I was surprised. Dinner and a movie is great fun, but doesn't really seem appropriate when we have never before met face to face.
We got to the theatre and the movie time had been pushed back a half hour. This was good because it gave us a few minutes to sit and talk and find a little about each other. Sherlock Holmes started and the movie was pretty entertaining. Part way through the movie, Mike put his hand on my leg. the back of his hand... He was not so subtly asking to hold my hand.... I thought "first date?" "Are you serious?" "Who are you?" "Are you a guy who is only interested in the physical?" I looked at him and he smiled.
I figured that holding his hand couldn't hurt, and gave in. A little later during the movie he took out his phone and listened to a voicemail. Then he left the theatre to make a call. He was gone about 10 minutes. so strange! When he returned he asked if I was mad. I said "No." I wasn't mad. I guess because I was not emotionally invested in him at all, and also because it is his own choice to pay for the movie and then watch it or not.
After the movie, I said goodbye and that maybe we could meet again sometime. We hugged and he walked away. I was a little frustrated that he didn't have the courtesy to walk me to my vehicle, but oh well. Before I made it home, he texted me, asking "Do you really want to see me again?"... I told him that I didn't really know him, and that a movie isn't really conducive to learning about someone. We texted a couple of times after that, but I haven't heard from him in a while.

The Following Friday, I made plans to meet another guy from Match. "Ed" and I had exchanged several emails and a phone call or two. I felt that I knew him a lot better than Mike. He offered to drive half way to Boulder to meet, and we decided to meet at 7.
The day of my date I got a text from another friend. "Tony" is a guy I have knows for quite sometime. I haven't seen him in a number of years, as one or the other is always out of town. He let me know that he was at a happy hour near my work. i agreed to meet him for a drink or two, until my other plans required me to leave.
I knew that there was chemistry between us, but wasn't sure what it would be like to see him again. I knew he would be at the pub with several friends, so I wasn't expecting much in the way of Romance.
I got to the bar and found him easily. As soon as I sat down next to him we began talking, talking, talking. We talked about a bunch of things, and I noticed that he was completely ignoring his other friends! Before long I had to leave, and it was not a fun thought. Most of me just wanted to stay and hang with Tony. Tony was nice enough to walk me out the door of the bar, and gave me a great hug.
So I sped off time my time with Tony to go meet Ed. We met and had a nice time. We had a couple of good drinks while waiting for a table, and eventually sat down. We ordered guacamole that was made just for us and had a great meal. There was lots to talk about, and I enjoyed myself. It wasn't late, but we were both tired, so we called it an evening. Ed walked me to my car and made sure that I got in and it started. I waved goodbye and haven't heard from him since.

So, three up and at least two down.
None of these meetings were bad, but I don't know how much chemistry I feel for them.
Navigating the world of online dating is confusing! Who to talk to? Who to meet? Who to meet again??

I look forward to the days when this hunt is over, and I can just be committed to one person!

the big announcement

Well, as it turns out, I don't really have a big announcement for you.

I thought I did, but now I don't. Confused? I thought so.

Several weeks ago, a friend of ours contacted a local magazine about our project. The editor was interested, so we attempted to meet up with her a couple of times; however, due to several unfortunate events, the interview has yet to take place.

At this point, I'm not sure what will happen. We might have an article written about us, or we might not. Either way, we're grateful that they showed interest in us!

We'll keep you updated!

Multi-tasking

This post is in response to Sunrise's post from earlier this week. I've realized that on-line dating really requires you to be a good multi-tasker.

Ideally, you can juggle a dozen matches, all at different stages of communication. Keeping track of each person's answers, trying to ask appropriate follow up questions, and not tell the same person the same thing twice. I found myself cutting and pasting from one email communication to the next, and trying to modify them based on something they had told me in some previous communication. The easiest way of course was to have two or three eharmony windows open simultaneously so I could flip back and refresh myself as to what the topic of conversation was. But then a few times, I found myself so thoroughly confused as to what precisely it was that I was trying to accomplish I just had to start all over. And, I nearly sent the wrong person a message meant for another match once or twice (thankfully, I caught my error in time). It also gets pretty confusing when you are communicating with a couple of gents with the same fist name from the same town... Brian from Fort Collins has sent you a message. Excellent! Now, which Brian is this? Am I excited or just hoping this email sparks some conversation that is actually interesting?

I started the online process gung-ho, took a little break, then tried to do it "one-at-a-time" but discovered it can be frustrating when folks dont write back. So, in my last couple weeks online I messaged everyone and had the multi-tasking nightmare described above. I am not an excellent multi-tasker. Just like in my real job, if I have 7 projects to do I start one, get distracted by another, get interrupted a second time by a third (or forth or fifth or...) and at the end of the day I realize I have accomplished nothing.

I certainly feel the same strangeness that Sunrise felt regarding the extensive inter-dating that goes on. Its hard to actually open yourself up to possibilities when you realize the guy you are excited about is the same one your friend is excited about, or whom may be really excited about even a third friend of yours. In real life at least there is some sensitivity to the feelings of others in these types of situations, but online, it seems its all fair game.

Giving a bad review of a date also has interesting consequences when you realize after the fact that your friend is also communicating with them. And so I find myself loading on the moderating comments.... like, perhaps it was simply a case of mis-understanding, or though he's not right for me, but maybe he'll be right for you"?

My brain is a bit too simple to be handling all these overlaps... not only do you have to multi-task with the men you are matched with, you really do need to be multi-tasking with sensitivity to your girlfriends who are likely matched with the same men, and may have something going there.

Needless to say, I stopped my subscription to eharmony in order to take it a bit slower, one crush at a time, and hopefully not overlap with my girlfriends :-)

Cheaters never prosper....

Ok, so I have to confess...this process blurs the line of fidelity and monogamy for me. Pre on-line dating, I would never have considered allowing 5 men to pursue me. And I CERTAINLY would not have been OK with a guy asking me and one (or 2 or 3!) of my friends on dates simultaneously. But here we are, allowing this behavior, and really, expecting it. I'm not really comfortable with this, because I value commitment and intimacy (something I've figured out when having to answer some of the questions posed by guys, which is an unexpected benefit!).

But it can be pretty hilareous...at a party last night, I got to chatting with 3 other girls who have dabbled in the online dating scene. When I mentioned the names of the two guys I'm considering continuing to talk with, one gal piped up and told me she had in fact been on a date with one (and that she never needed to go on another one after he told her about taking his father to a strip club:(). The other guy, a handsome farmer from Castle Rock, had apparently been emailing with another one of my friends for some time. Unfortunately, he was terrible at asking questions to get to know her ( I'd also noticed how sparse his communications attempts were) and had a reputation for struggling when it came to actually asking to meet girls and go on dates. Yes, there are reputations in the online dating community. So, needless to say, the farmer won't be taking up one of my weeknights anytime soon.

And so the adventure continues...I sorta feel like I'm cheating on a bunch of not-that-interesting strangers who may or may not have faked their profiles and are actually creepy old men who live in Ned and pray on silly love-sick Boulder girls...Nice.

keep checking in . . .

. . . because we've got an exciting announcement for you.

Coming soon!

chopsticks and toilet bowls

Tonight, out of the blue, I had a couple of those moments when I really, really wanted someone here with me to share in the laughter. You see, I live by myself, and I am constantly doing ridiculous things that I think are hilarious. Well, they're hilarious until I realize that I'm the only one laughing . . . and then it's just kind of sad.

So one of my New Year's resolutions is to eat healthier. As a result, I've been cooking at home more, and I've even been preparing my lunches/dinners for the week in advance. Impressive, eh? Well, tonight, I cooked my dinner, but also threw some chicken in the oven. While watching The Biggest Loser (for inspiration, of course), I completely forgot about the chicken until two hours later! You wouldn't believe how little those breasts were when I pulled them out! Some poor little chick died in vain -- just for me to burn its boobs, then throw them in the trash . . . sad . . . but yes, funny.

But the real kicker came tonight while going through my typical pre-sleep bathroom routine. While brushing my teeth with no contacts in (so I was totally blind), I saw movement on my wall. It was a spider. Fumbling, I grabbed my glasses, so I could see where it went, and I knocked my tweezers into the toilet. Oops! Glasses now on (sight restored), I stared blankly into the bowl. I couldn't flush them. But I wasn't going to stick my hand in there. Gross. (Oh, and where was that spider? Long gone. He must have realized he had been given a second chance to live and booked it.) I went into the kitchen, grabbed a chopstick, and attempted to rescue my tweezers. (This is the point that I was really wishing someone -- namely, a husband -- could be here to enjoy the scenario with me.) Success! But I decided I just couldn't stand to allow them to touch my skin ever again. One more thing tossed in the trash due to my neglect . . . Oh, and don't worry -- I tossed the chopstick too.

I guess I might as well throw its partner away too. It's kind of useless without a mate . . . oh, wait . . .

This is easy???

So a close guy friend of mine gets word that I've been on a date with a guy from EH. And he's flabbergasted..."That guy gets a date with you that easy?! That's crazy..."

And so of course, I get defensive. "It isn't easy to date online! You really have to put yourself out there!"

"Oh yeah, it's really hard to wade through the hundreds of profiles...it's like trolling while fishing." While i'm not EXACTLY sure what the fishing reference was supposed to mean, this guy got me thinking...

(and because this was mostly via IM, it all translates so well:).

describe your . . .

So there comes a point in some eHarmony relationships (the ones that actually progress) when you get to ask three essay questions. It's sort of like college, when you got those blue books, and you had to write about Moby Dick or Voltaire or Shakespeare. Well, these are like blue books in which you write short answers about yourself.

There are a lot of questions to choose from, but I typically choose the following three:

1. Describe an interest you have that you would truly hope your partner could share with you.

2. If you had three wishes, what would they be?

3. Describe your spirituality.

Well, this week, I accidentally chose the wrong question instead of #3. Apparently, I was busy watching "Conveyor Belt of Love" and chose "Describe your personal style" instead of "Describe your spirituality." I didn't realize my mistake until the poor guy responded with an impressive answer about his style -- tough for a guy living in this mountain town. Immediately, I started laughing. I would never, ever ask that question of anyone, but I like that he handled it well.

Unfortunately, I don't get to know about his spirituality, and because he thought it was so interesting that I asked him about his style, he asked me the same question. Great . . . I have no idea how to answer that one. Maybe I should just close him now . . .

a real Stand Up guy!

When is it okay to stand a girl up?
When is it okay to make plans with a girl and then not follow through??

During my first online dating experience I was talking with a guy fairly often. It seemed like we had a lot of similar interests, and things were going really well. We would talk a lot. We would talk for a good chunk of time. We didn't have marathon calls, but we would have a good talk, laugh a lot and enjoy time.
He asked if I would like to meet. HECK YES I DID!! This guy was SO SO cute and we really had a lot in common. We made plans and I was stoked. At the last minute he called to tell me that he had forgotten that his license plates had expired, and he wasn't comfortable driving. I was really crushed and confused.
We made plans to meet again, and because of the snow, he had to cancel.
We made plans again, but he hadn't gotten enough sleep the night before, so we had to postpone.
I REALLY began to resent him. I was so hurt that he wasn't into me enough to do anything to see me that I couldn't even see straight.
We made plans one last time, and this time at least he manned up enough to tell me he didn't really want to meet me.
I was hurt, but more than that I was glad that he finally SAID that he didn't want to see me.
I had completely forgotten about this experience.... until today.

I have been talking with a guy from Match for about 2 weeks. We haven't talked a whole lot, but he asked to see me. I feel like seeing a person in the flesh really helps to decide whether or not you want to see them again, or at all!
We made plans to meet last week. This week, he confirmed our date again, which I thought was a good thing. I didn't want to make the plans, so I had been taking a back seat on the planning aspect. We chatted and traded texts a couple times this week, so we have been in contact...
WELL FOLKS.... it is 8:30 on Friday night and I haven't heard from him yet. I sent a text at 4:15, but no answer.
Again I am frustrated! I deserve to be taken out! I deserve to have someone follow through and pick me up and take me to dinner!
SO, this no-show-dud is going to be closed, and I am not going to waste any more time on him.

On to someone who will be there for me!!

Just like regular dating...

So last night, after being barraged by matches that just seemed like a bunch of WEIRDOS, I broke down. Laughing, but honestly frustrated, I called my roommates over to show them the king of the strange-os, a guy that was so over the top that I couldn't read his profiles (the parts that weren't in hebrew) with a straight face.

My roommates almost died reading about this guy that had chosen to open communication with me, and while i was 4% embarrassed that I was open to such approaches, I was glad they got such a kick out of how ridiculous this online dating thing could be. And then, seeing their pure glee at looking over guys profiles, I set them loose. I was exhausted, and not stoked about any of my matches, so I told them I was going to bed, and that if they were good roomies, they should go through my matches and close any that were weird. And after they got over their brief stint of disbelief, they went at the list with gusto. Thankfully, I woke up this morning with 3/4 of the men from my list closed....

Why am i doing this again? Oh yeah, because I'm open to finding the one. Gotta try to remember that!

WARNING!

Some of us "must love...us" ladies thought our blog world friends should see the letter from Dr. Warren that we have to read before entering into the "open communication" stage.
It's quite hilarious. Enjoy.
Summary of letter: "WARNING! He might be a psycho and we're not responsible."

eHarmony works hard to provide you with matches that are compatible with your personality and values based on our study of successful relationships. I'm pleased that you have chosen to proceed to Open Communication with this match.

At this point, we want to give you some "rules-of-the-road" for communicating with, and eventually meeting someone that you have been introduced to through eHarmony, or any other website. Especially if this is your first time communicating with a match, please read through these carefully.

1. Always Use Your Best Judgment

eHarmony relies on the complete honesty of our users to create our compatibility profiles. Our system works hard to screen-out applicants who are not truthful. However, it is ultimately your responsibility to decide if someone is being truthful and honest. Don't ignore your instincts and please don't depend totally on eHarmony for evaluating a person you've been matched with. As with people you may meet under any circumstances, your judgment and instincts are necessary to protect yourself from deceitful individuals.

Here are some signs to consider: Watch out for someone who asks for money, uses vulgar language, asks inappropriate questions, or suggests sexual fantasies. Be careful of those who want to speed up the pace, tell you how to run your life, tell stories with inconsistencies, give vague answers to specific questions, urge you to compromise your principles, blame others for their troubles or are always speaking romantically. These are just a few of the signs you may want to think twice about before continuing.

2. Be Cautious Sharing Personal Information

We strongly encourage you to be cautious when sharing personal information that could reveal your identity. Our Open Communication system will let you communicate while remaining safely anonymous. Don't give out your name, e-mail or phone number until you feel you have truly gotten to know someone. Once you've given out personal information, you cannot take it back! We encourage you to use our anonymous communication system until you are ready for the next step: Talking by phone.

Speaking by phone to the other person is also a critical requirement in getting to know each other better. Before you share phone numbers make sure you have discussed the need to respect each other's privacy, and if either of you decide to end communication in the future, you will not use the phone number as a means to pursue an unwanted relationship. Most people prefer the man to offer his phone number to the woman and that she initiate any future phone calls, but you decide. Keep the first call to a short duration of 15 minutes or less.

3. Do Your Own Research

It is important to note that eHarmony does not perform background checks on its members. It is also important to note that our optional identity verification service, which is powered by our partner RelyID, is not a background check. We rely on the total honesty of our members when filling out the eHarmony relationship questionnaire to supply us with honest feedback such as Date of Birth, Marital Status, City and State of Residence, Occupation, Education Background and a myriad of additional items. Regardless of the connection you feel, we encourage you to do your own research before meeting in person. This can be anything from typing your match's name into a search engine, contacting your state or local municipalities to obtain public information, or using a paid service to obtain a full background report. Above all else, use common sense. Pay attention to the details someone shares and if you find anything that doesn't add up, follow your intuition and close the communication.

4. Make Your First Date Safe and Successful

Meeting in person is a very exciting time. Approach your first meeting with reasonable high hopes, but try to limit your expectations.

• Make sure you meet in a public place, preferably during the day.
• Before meeting in person, make certain to obtain your match's first and last name and as much information about them as possible.
• Tell at least one friend or family member about your plans, and arrange to "check-in" with them after each of the first few dates.
• Try and keep the first date to about an hour. Lunch dates generally work well.
• If one or both of you are traveling a long distance, then arrange for a short first meeting and plan on getting back together, if you both agree, a few hours later or the next day. This takes some of the pressure off the first encounter.
• Do not meet at your house or place of work, or give that information out until you have had a good opportunity to better know the person. Use your own transportation. Driving yourself will allow you to leave easily if things aren't going well.

5. Take Your Time

We can't stress enough how important it is for you to take your time getting to know your match. Be aware that on-line communication tends to accelerate one's sense of comfort and intimacy. We encourage you to use eHarmony's anonymous Open Communication system as long as necessary to find out

Remember that eHarmony's matching process does not eliminate the need for real life experience. Before you create a permanent relationship together we believe it is vital that both people date and get to know each other in a deep and revealing way. If possible you should consider living in the same area for a significant time. Realize that you will need to have a broad base of experiences together. The more experiences you have together, the better your chances of avoiding hidden surprises. Allow time for a variety of experiences together, particularly the simple everyday routine.

The fundamental goal of eHarmony is to help our users marry wisely. We believe that, regardless of your high level of compatibility, rushing into a serious or marital relationship is unwise. Always move slowly, learn about and pay attention to the reality of your new relationship, as well as your relationship goals.

6. Always be Respectful and Kind

Always be respectful and treat the other person as you would want them to treat you. Not every match is going to be right. Remember, eHarmony is about bringing two people together who have a solid foundation from which a long-term relationship would have a high probability of success. You still need to carefully consider whether this particular person is one with whom you would like to further a relationship. If you feel the need to end communication, then be honest, direct and polite. The sooner you address this determination the better for both of you.

7. Report Concerns About a Match to eHarmony

If you have concerns about a particular match on eHarmony, please don't hesitate to contact Customer Care so that appropriate steps can be taken to keep eHarmony the safest and best place to start a relationship on the web. E-mail your concerns to: matchconcerns@eharmony.com.

I hope these guidelines will help to make your eHarmony experience a success, and that you will find your soul mate as so many others before you have done.

Sincerely,
Neil Clark Warren
Founder of eHarmony.com

Put me in coach!

So you may notice a substitution has been made...some ladies have moved on and one has even found what she was looking for, and the women of must love...us have invited a newbie onboard.

I was inspired to join the online dating band wagon after reading about the adventures on this blog and was especially intrigued after helping an online dater update her profile. There were attractive, single, seemingly wonderful men looking for...well, maybe for me! And so here I am, three weeks into the adventure.

And as the ladies have said in the past, it's a surprisingly challenging undertaking. More than anything , it's been hard to really spell out who I am in a profile and a couple of pictures. It's making me realize that perhaps "who I am" is actually less clear then I had previously imagined.

It's also hard to know if I'm doing this online dating thing right. My first week after signing up, a match came in that threw me for a loop...it was a guy who had pursued me in the fall, that I'd really seriously considered dating. If eharmony says we're compatible, should i have dated him?! And now that he's online dating, have I missed my chance?! I've since put these concerns to rest, and after we laughed about the match up together, the guy told me to forget eharmony and switch to Match. Which just set me off semi-worrying again...did i pick the wrong site? Am I going to miss out on the one?

Fortunately, I see online dating as simply opening doors, not closing them. I'm not the one in charge of the future, but I'm happy knowing that this little experiment is me making a statement that I'd like to find love...in the future.

great.

great. my suspicions have been confirmed.
eHarmony does match you up based on looks.
i've been getting some not-so-attractive men lately.
i'm feeling a bit like a "Ugly Betty" tonight.
see eHarmony message below.

Photos and Physical Appearance at eHarmony

We do use physical appearance as a factor in our matching process and we encourage all members to post a photo.

We know that physical attraction is important, but studies have shown it to be less important, in the long run, than characteristics like intelligence, conflict resolution and energy level among others.

Therefore we encourage you to get to know each match with an open mind and take care not to make a snap judgment based on a photo.

p.s. i have been emailing with 1 guy, started "communication" with 5 guys tonight, and "nudged" 8 guys. it's 2010 and i'm being proactive.

the rose

So here I sit. It's Monday night, the first week of the new year, and I'm at home, alone, watching The Bachelor. (Most likely, after that sentence, you've concluded that I didn't have that date on New Year's Eve.) If you know me, you might think this is a bit odd; reality shows are not my favorite, particularly those on which girls flaunt their bodies and fight over a boy they barely know. But here I am, watching it anyway. This time around, I find myself relating a bit to those girls -- and even to the bachelor himself.

The girls are all a bit desperate and lonely. Why else would they put their lives on hold on the slim chance that this one guy just might be "the one"?

The bachelor is terrified of sending "the one" home. He only gets a few minutes with each one before he has to decide if he wants to continue to get to know them.

Every single one of them just wants to fall in love.

And I get it.

Now, would I pour myself into a tight, boob-boosting evening gown and recite cheesy pleas for a flower? No. But then again, I am doing something that I always said I would never do: online dating -- a fourth month of it, actually.

Every day, I log on and wonder if I'm looking at a photo of the guy that I could soon be sitting with here on this couch. I read a profile and quickly decide if I'm going to give him a "rose." (Oh great -- now I'm being cheesy.) Maybe I'm closing out "the one." Maybe he's not even on here. Most likely, he's not. Who knows -- maybe I'll find my bachelor on a plane or in a coffee shop. But until then, I'm still giving this a chance.

eHarmony: Round 2

ok, fine.

I'll keep going.

I wasn't so sure I'd continue with eHarm, but I, too, didn't catch it in time and was automatically renewed for January. Do they know something I don't?

I was going to let the membership run out at the end of December because I had been talking to this boy with great possibility. Lots of phone conversations, one date, and then bad timing got in the way. The potential of this guy was high. He had very legitimate reasons for ending communication, but none of them were he didn't like me, which is more frustrating than just timing issues. So no more boy...and one month more of online dating.

So here we go.

This online thing is definitely a double-edged sword. There's a sense of security when talking to someone because you've been matched based on numerous criteria, you both are looking for the same thing, and all your basic information has been laid out there at the beginning. Except it's still dating and there are still so many things that have to work out.

But, at least I'm not in this alone :) After a fantastic New Year's, single but not alone, with some other Must Love girls, I'm ready for January and whatever eHarm has to offer....

Free Husband?!

So I have officially canceled my membership, but I have to be honest I'm a little sad. But don't worry the fun has just begun....its a Free Communication weekend and therefore I still have a few more days on here! The problem is they won't show me pictures...this could be good and bad. Maybe I should stop judging the guys on appearance, but lets be honest we have to be attracted right?!

So get this...my roommate is still on (not part of the Must Love crew) and she is going through her matches and we are finding out that I am matched with the same people...so I get to see their pictures! ha sneeky I know.

Well we are both sitting here and have challenged each other to find three people to start communicating with. I have done two so far... But again, this is a gamble since I don't know what they look like and I'm only going off of their profile. I am also giving them my email right away if they want to talk since I can't talk with them after tonight...such a dilemma.

It looks like Fast-tracking a lot of my matches last week worked and I have been emailing with three guys. I talked to one last night on the phone for an hour and we will be going to coffee tomorrow. I'm kind of excited...a bit nervous. Lets call him Boy #3, since this would be the third date since starting. I will let you all know how it goes....

Also wanted to throw this in...this is how cheesy eharmony can be sometimes when trying to get you to come back and sign up with them:

Start FastTrack with _____ by upgrading your membership!

Youll be able to communicate with him, see his photos and more. Hurry, he could be the one youve been looking for!

(Free communication weekend might = the one I have been looking for! My Free Husband could be one click away! ha)

happy new year.

happy new year to all of our readers.
i hope your new year is filled with lots of laughter and love.

i rang in the the new year last night very single,
but with a few of the Must Love ladies as well as some other friends and randoms.
i have to say - it was so much fun!
i didn't get a kiss at midnight, but i did drink too much red wine and dance the night away.
i'm fine with that.

in 2010, i'm looking for
fireworks
and
love.

i decided to renew my subscription to eHarmony for another month.
if i'm looking for fireworks and love, i thought i should keep my head in the game.
funny thing is that today i received my first communication request from an intriguing guy.
three months with nothing and then january 1st - communication.
i'll let you know if anything happens.