Ok, so I have to confess...this process blurs the line of fidelity and monogamy for me. Pre on-line dating, I would never have considered allowing 5 men to pursue me. And I CERTAINLY would not have been OK with a guy asking me and one (or 2 or 3!) of my friends on dates simultaneously. But here we are, allowing this behavior, and really, expecting it. I'm not really comfortable with this, because I value commitment and intimacy (something I've figured out when having to answer some of the questions posed by guys, which is an unexpected benefit!).
But it can be pretty hilareous...at a party last night, I got to chatting with 3 other girls who have dabbled in the online dating scene. When I mentioned the names of the two guys I'm considering continuing to talk with, one gal piped up and told me she had in fact been on a date with one (and that she never needed to go on another one after he told her about taking his father to a strip club:(). The other guy, a handsome farmer from Castle Rock, had apparently been emailing with another one of my friends for some time. Unfortunately, he was terrible at asking questions to get to know her ( I'd also noticed how sparse his communications attempts were) and had a reputation for struggling when it came to actually asking to meet girls and go on dates. Yes, there are reputations in the online dating community. So, needless to say, the farmer won't be taking up one of my weeknights anytime soon.
And so the adventure continues...I sorta feel like I'm cheating on a bunch of not-that-interesting strangers who may or may not have faked their profiles and are actually creepy old men who live in Ned and pray on silly love-sick Boulder girls...Nice.
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I had a hard time on eHarmony because I tend to be a fiercely loyal person and it didn't seem right to be talking to multiple men at the same time and I didn't like the idea that they were talking to multiple girls. Fortunately, when I met my hubby (on eHarmony) he told me on one of our first dates that he is a one girl kinda guy and he wanted to be sure we were on the same page. How refreshing!
ReplyDeleteI remember the handsome farmer from Castle Rock :)
ReplyDeleteI closed him after it took him over a week to send his "must haves/can't stand list"(the easiest part of the guided communication stage)!
Good to know he acts that way with all the girls :)