a day in the life

Awhile ago, Must Love Coffee & Skyscrapers gave you a nice succinct rundown of the structure of eHarmony; however, I thought I'd go a step farther and give you a step-by-step overview of the day in the life of an eHarmony participant. (Please note: We are not all doing eHarmony. Some are doing Match.)

Step 1: Check e-mail in the morning to see if I actually received matches. These mysterious notifications regarding potential dream guys (or not) sneak into my inbox at some point in the middle of the night. Most days, I receive somewhere between 5 and 10 new matches. Yes, every single morning.

Step 2: Log into eHarmony. This is more difficult than you might think. You see eHarmony must have realized that the temptation exists for friends and family to log into an account and have some fun with profiles and matches, so they don't "remember" your login name and password. I'm annoyed by this on a daily basis, though I'm sure I would be appreciative if the threat existed for someone to log in as me.

Step 3: Check out the new profiles.

Step 4: Review and decide if I am going to close them out, keep them, or start communication.

Let's take a look at today's matches:

Bachelor #1: engineer, 27 years old, 6'0", Christian, wants kids, drinks about once a week, never smokes.

Pros: Well, there aren't many. He likes Seinfeld. I guess that's a pro.

Cons: Might like Seinfeld a little too much; he lists the characters as the most influential people in his life. And his profile photo sort of looks like a mug shot.

Verdict: Close.

Bachelor #2: retail manager, 32 years old, 5'9", Christian, wants kids, drinks about once a week, never smokes.

Pros: Seems to really respect his mom.

Cons: He says his pets are his primary focus. Do I want to compete with animals? No. Also, he sent me an "icebreaker," which is basically equivalent to the winks of match.com. it said, "Just wanted to say hi!" but then he didn't start communication. I think this means he's throwing the ball in my court in a lame kind of way.

Verdict: I'll leave him open for now, but if he doesn't initiate communication this week, he'll be closed.

Bachelor #3: park ranger, 26 years old, 5'10", Christian, wants kids, drinks about once a week, never smokes.

Pros: Seems like a nice guy, but that's it. There is nothing about this profile that sticks out to me in any way whatsoever.

Cons: I'm not attracted to him at all. Do I feel shallow for wanting to close him out? Yes.

Verdict: Close.

Bachelor #4: real estate agent, 30 years old, 5'9", Christian, maybe wants kids, drinks several times a week, never smokes.

Pros: He's attractive, but not my type.

Cons: He barely filled out his profile. Basically, I know nothing about this guy.

Verdict: Close.

Bachelor #5: teacher, 32 years old, 6'0", wants kids, drinks about once a week, never smokes.

Pros: He likes sad music and refers to himself as a "closet hippie" (except he spelled it "hippy").

Cons: He seems REALLY into sports. I'm not attracted to him. Also, he only posted one photo, and he's making a really weird, kind of creepy face in it.

Verdict: Close.

Bachelor #6: sales rep, 34 years old, 5'10", Christian, wants kids, drinks about once a week, smokes a few times a year.

Pros: Likes Italian food. Again, nothing else sticks out to me.

Cons: His favorite book is The DaVinci Code. Admittedly, I read the book. It's okay. Is it my favorite? No. Should it be anyone's favorite? No.

Verdict: Close.

(Now, I'm sure some of you are thinking that I closed a lot of people out and that I'll never meet anyone by doing this every day. Maybe you're right; however, I do keep some open occasionally. Soon, I plan to write a post focused on reasons I keep matches open or initiate communication. Take heart, precious readers.)

Step 5: Check to see who chose to close me out. Yes, eHarmony forces you to look at them. Well, kind of. Admittedly, I check out each guy's profile to see what kind of guy actually decided that he didn't want me to be a part of his life. Really, can you imagine? Today, it's a 28-year-old special ed teacher who loves sports, his jeep, and helping people. Sounds nice. But he's not attractive, so this makes me feel better. Yes, being honest. Feel free to judge me.

Step 6: Check to see if any of the matches have sent me communication. None today. All are in "waiting for his answers" phase -- except for one, to whom I need to respond. Yes, I've been putting it off. But perhaps now is the perfect time, since you're walking through this with me.

These are the 2nd set of questions, and they come from a 28-year-old designer. Every single one of his photos looks like a different person; however, his profile intrigued me. He's artsy, loves music, has a husky (I love huskies), and seems really funny. Also, he mentioned that he loves NYC and going to the museums and galleries there. I like this.

I'll respond to his questions:

1. What is the one dream for your life you must look forward to having come true?

2. How important is it to you that your partner fulfill traditional gender roles? Would you like a man who maintains cars, managers the finances, and is handy around the house?

3. Tonight you can do anything you want, no penalties, no reprisals, and the cost is unimportant. What are you going to do?

I'd love to tell you my answers, but I won't. Not tonight. :)

Step 7: Log off.

Step 8: Wait.