. . . but what do I want?
It's a question I've been struggling with for the past twelve days. While skimming profiles and viewing photos, I seem to be awfully good at knowing what I don't want, but I can't seem to nail down exactly what it is that I'm looking for in a guy.
Sure, I know a few traits:
- taller than me
- has an appreciation for music, literature, the arts
- likes to read
- enjoys traveling
- makes me laugh
But I'm finding there are other aspects that I enjoy as well, and they're incredibly difficult to nail down in a profile.
This weekend, I was talking to a friend, a guy that I adore, and he said something totally off-the-wall . . . actually, it was something that was so real, so down to earth, so painfully honest, that it seemed, well, eccentric. And it made me laugh. I found myself thinking, That's it! That's what I want. But I can't detect that in a profile. And I'm not so sure that kind of guy is online, looking for a girl like me. That kind of guy is out there somewhere. I think. But how do I find him?
The kind of guy that's online, asking to communicate with me is the type of guy who hopes he'll be living in the suburbs in 15 years. I'm not making this up. Here's the proof: answers to the multiple choice questions I sent to one particular gentleman. Based on these two questions alone (and lack of an interesting profile), I closed him out. This is not me. So not me.
| Where do you see yourself living in 15 years? A) a nice apartment in the city | |
| If you could take a dream getaway, where would you most likely choose to spend a week? A) Paris | |
I'm not giving up on this yet, but I am feeling rather pessimistic.
So far, I have been intrigued by one guy online. Just one. I sent him a "communication request," and he did not respond.
Of course.
So I "nudged" him.
Nothing.
And so I wait . . . always waiting.
Is Boulder technically considered a suburb or would it be a small town? I'm never sure...anyway, I'm with you on the Hawaii thing. Duh, the answer is ALWAYS Paris.
ReplyDeleteI understand how you feel completely. I live in New York City which might be too intense for me to live in forever but also I can't imagine living in the suburbs either. What do you even do in the suburbs? Go to Applebee's? For real. There needs to be an inbetween-ish City out there for us not subrubs but not city all the time girls.
ReplyDeletei could do hawaii though too! (:
ReplyDeleteextraordinary, eccentric men do not come easy....he'll find you.
As a person who lives in the suburbs, it's not all that bad. Priorities change...it's not like you have to sell your soul or anything. I'm just saying...
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain, but when I was on eHarmony years ago they didn't even have such a thing as a 'nudge' so I'm not sure what that even is. After a little while, I decided that...now this will sound very blah to some people and ancient...I would NOT initiate anything! I would leave it up to the guy to be the initiator and MAN. Of course, this takes away all question of whether he is responding just to be nice or if he is truly interested at you from first glance anyway...and that meant a lot of guys didn't initiate anything. But one particular guy did eventually-one to hit it off with is all that matters- and the rest is history.
ReplyDeleteOk! Let's focus people. Let's just work on getting a date for New Years! And yes all women want to go to Paris. Men DO know this. But most men do NOT want to go to Paris. I recommend going to Paris alone! or with a girlfriend. Then you can hook up with the French guys who love Paris just like you! Think about it. How many American guys have you heard saying "I would love to go to Paris!" If you DID hear them say that, they were probably with their girlfriend/wife at the time, and if he said he didn't want to go, there might not be any French kissing that night. So I hate to tell you Must love Paris and Banjos, you may want to drop the Paris part.
ReplyDeleteAs for the suburbs...15 years is a good long way away. If you want to have kids, the suburbs is an ideal place to raise children. So you may want to rethink the meaning behind the guy's answer. Instead of him seeing himself as living in the suburbs 15 years from now, maybe he sees himself as married with a couple ruggies running around.
Finally, what's wrong with the guy who said the off the wall comment? You said yourself, "That's it! That's what I want!"
RRE
I agree with Rough Around the Edges. And yeah, who is this guy with the This is it comment?
ReplyDeleteWell, he's a very good friend with whom it would never work out . . . I think. I guess time will tell, huh?
ReplyDelete