automatic closure

Within this first week of online dating, I've found that the following "profile sins" get the match-ee an automatic "closure" (meaning I will no longer communicate with him -- ever):

• Featuring a photo of yourself with your shirt off -- for any reason.
• Mentioning that The DaVinci Code is your favorite book -- especially if "DaVinci" is spelled incorrectly.
• Considering your ex-girlfriend to be the most inspiring person in your life.
• Being passionate about triathlons or computers. (Yeah, I'm not that intense or that nerdy.)
• Being passionate about being passionate. (What does that even mean?)
• Not including a photo. (How will I confirm that you don't have three ears or glowing red eyes?)
• Stating that you don't read books -- just Popular Mechanics.
• Being most thankful for your cat. (I like cats, but not that much.)
• Using any of the following words: coy, lover, hygiene.
• Declaring on your profile that you don't kiss on the first date. (Is that really something you need to tell everyone up front? Just don't kiss her. She'll figure it out.)
• Answering the question, "What is the most important thing you're looking for in a person?" with this statement: "Good hygiene. I love a great smile, clean teeth, and good breath." (Really?!? That's the most important thing?)

Yeah, this should be interesting . . .