The first one was a week or so ago, with a guy I will call Mini Hands. Seriously, half the size of mine and I don't have big hands. Needless to say I was not physically attracted to him in any way shape or form. Which is a bummer because his pictures lead me to believe otherwise. I have found this is oftentimes the case when it comes to meeting someone in person. I like to post average pictures of myself on my profile so when they meet me, they might be pleasantly surprised (assuming that they like what they saw of course!). Wish this guy had done the same.
Also, conversation seemed to be like a Q&A session. I don't want to live the rest of my life in an interview. Maybe his nerves got the best of him? Again, a strange turn of events given our email conversations. Oh well, next batter up.
The second date was last night. At least this time I was physically more attracted to the guy. Conversation was a little more intriguing, but I can't figure out if it was because he was from Eastern Europe and let's face it, that just sounds romantic in itself. This guy pulled the slick move of asking me face to face to hang out again when I hadn't quite made up my mind if I wanted to see him again. But I'm no good saying no in person. Email or text is way more my passive aggressive style. So, guess I will find myself on another date with him next week. He also sent an email today saying that he was going to call me this week if that was okay with me? Are you seriously asking if you can call me? He just lost his "born in Europe" points.
Stay tuned to find out if he redeems them next week.
"Mini Hands!" ha! Hilarious! :)
ReplyDeletei think you sound kind of harsh! I know this may seem kind of mean, but that's not my intent at all.
ReplyDeletea few things i think you could learn from this that may benefit you in your dating expeditions:
-if you aren't interested in seeing #2 again, learn how to say no. it's unfair to be passive aggressive about it--you wouldn't like someone to do that to you. and you're an adult. you get what you give.
-and if you liked either of these guys, you would have delighted in the fact that one emailed you to ask if he could call you or that the other was so inquisitive. if you don't have an interest in talking to either of them, you should be honest, save them some time and hurt, and tell them--especially #2, since he has an obvious interest in you.... he's in the same boat you're in--taking a risk, making himself vulnerable, and trying to internet date.
like i said, i'm not trying to be mean. i totally support you girls and your efforts! way to balls out and actually do something!
cara,
Just a few thoughts on this . . .
ReplyDeleteI don't really think T&T is being harsh, but just honest. We all have these kinds of thoughts about guys, and this is a safe place to express them.
And while I think we would all say the passive aggressive method is not the best, it's typically what we resort to for fear of hurting the other person. Is it best? Probably not. But does it often seem like the best? Yeah.
I could be wrong, but it sounds like T&T isn't 100% sure that she's ready to call it quits with Eastern European guy. As we all know, sometimes you end up falling for someone you really didn't like all that much the first 50 times you were around them. Maybe she's just trying to give him a few chances, since he was sort of interesting and semi-attractive.
But thanks for your input, Cara, as well as applauding our efforts. :) Good thoughts, for sure -- especially regarding turning a guy down in a passive-agressive way. I'm sure rejection is a bridge we'll all be crossing way too soon.
well thought. (:
ReplyDeletewell stated.
"I don't really think T&T is being harsh, but just honest."
except with the guy. . .
i must say, i stand corrected on the "sometimes you end up falling for someone you really didn't like all that much the first 50 times you were around them." I don't buy into that theory at all but i appreciate those who do.
i think there has to be an initial spark and attraction. if you're annoyed by emails about phone calls, i'd venture to say, it's not there.
great response. thanks B&P!
cara
Ahhh women! You're so catty. First off, be harsh all you want here, because I will, too.
ReplyDeleteSecond, I think he was being very considerate asking permission to call. You could have said 'no, don't call me'(there are a lot of ways to say 'no' politely, but I make it short and curt here). He GAVE you an out and you didn't take it. Now, I probably wouldn't ask permission to call, but I definitely wouldn't subtract points for it. I'd only subtract European points if he asks to KISS you--THAT doesn't sound very European.
But when it comes to saying 'no', just say it. The guy will appreciate it more, and instead of yelling "b!@^h" to your face after feeling lead on, he'll say it quietly to himself behind your back and move on.
Yes rejection sucks! No one likes it; man or woman. But the best thing about rejection is the closure to move on quickly to the next point in life.
Now in this case, you already didn't say 'no'. Psyche yourself up to say it on the next date if you know you don't want to see him again.
What's cool about your experiment, is that now you CAN experiment and practice saying 'no'. I recommend this. Because when YOU get rejected with a straight forward 'no' you'll be prepared and appreciative, and instead of yelling "You F@#$ing jerk" to his face, you'll say it quietly to your friends behind his back in this blog.
RRE
Just saw an add for Chemistry.com for those adventurous enough to try a new something-new
ReplyDeleteRRE