eHarmony: Round 2

ok, fine.

I'll keep going.

I wasn't so sure I'd continue with eHarm, but I, too, didn't catch it in time and was automatically renewed for January. Do they know something I don't?

I was going to let the membership run out at the end of December because I had been talking to this boy with great possibility. Lots of phone conversations, one date, and then bad timing got in the way. The potential of this guy was high. He had very legitimate reasons for ending communication, but none of them were he didn't like me, which is more frustrating than just timing issues. So no more boy...and one month more of online dating.

So here we go.

This online thing is definitely a double-edged sword. There's a sense of security when talking to someone because you've been matched based on numerous criteria, you both are looking for the same thing, and all your basic information has been laid out there at the beginning. Except it's still dating and there are still so many things that have to work out.

But, at least I'm not in this alone :) After a fantastic New Year's, single but not alone, with some other Must Love girls, I'm ready for January and whatever eHarm has to offer....

**do something** update

If you recall, I recently posted expressing my annoyance with a certain match for his very inconsistent communication and lack of action.

Well, he did something...not with me, but still.

I got word he went out on a real live date with Must Love Teens and Beans (nudge, nudge....share with us what happened!!!). I figured he wasn't super interested in me either (phew) and we were passively calling it quits. I hadn't heard from him in weeks. Perfect ending. That's what I wanted-- do something or do nothing. BUT then he comments on my Facebook status the other night! WHY??? Does he think we're friends? Does he think girls don't talk about this kind of thing with each other? Does he just not care? I closed him last week on eHarm; there should be little confusion. Leave it alone.

On a totally different note, I am admitting failure to the posted challenges. Sorry. I was really excited about participating, but see, there's this boy....

And I don't want to talk about it :)

do Something!

so there's this boy,

the same boy who has been talking to 2 of us must love girls for over a month,

who tells us that he's talking to the other one and enjoying getting to know us both,

and who continues to "talk" to both of us.

He texts me, sometimes.

He emails me very long emails, sometimes.

That's it.

I kinda feel like this is a case of "He's Just Not That Into You."

Except he keeps popping up....why???

Why is nothing new happening here?

He needs to do something. Pick a girl, meet a girl...do something.

I don't want to be the one to do something- that's the boy's job!

And I want a guy who knows that's his job.

Come on December...treat us well...make something happen, with someone!!!

what a small world we've created.

ok, we knew this was going to happen. We've been blogging for a month about the same bad matches, the matches that have passed us over for a friend, the matches that have requested communication with multiple "must love" girls....

We knew, going into this, using the same site, we would cross paths. I was still caught a little off guard when it happened again this past weekend to must love teens and beans and me! After almost two weeks of emails, the boy asked me an uncomfortable question: "There's a girl in one of your pictures who looks familiar...she looks like one of my matches....is it teens and beans?". Whoops, because, as a matter of fact, I'm sure it is t & b.

So now what? I emailed him back and confirmed that yes, I was sure it was t & b. I feel bad for him...what an awkward situation to be in-- accidentally talking to two friends! Luckily, t & b and I have not seen each other for a while, so we have not been discussing this poor guy behind his back...but did he believe me when I told him that?

(Also, I realized a while ago the previously mentioned picture may not be a good choice, but I can't get it to delete off the site...it's stuck.)

I kind of feel like I've been busted.

We did it to ourselves.

Whoops.

the good and the bad

First, the bad....

I vowed to stop posting people's profile answers on here (I was feeling a little mean), but I couldn't pass up sharing this one:

The most important thing ***** is looking for in a person is:

What I am looking for in a Partner is EXTREMELY Simple! Someone whom is Honestly Lonely enough at this point in her Life, that you are willing to put the time into Building a special relationship. As I am willing to do the same for You! The REASON I present that in the way I do, is because I have Clearly seen that People are just too (Busy), to take the Concept of finding a Partner Seriously! I have plenty of friends MYSELF, BUT...they are All Married themselves with Lives and Commitments of their OWN in life Now! Therefore, I'm not that busy anymore.

say what??! I need an interpreter for this one.

ok, now I'll stop.

But here's the good....

Over 3 weeks since our start date and I've finally reached open communication (aka email) with a boy and he seems very nice!!!!! I'm just so excited to be finally emailing freely and out of Guided Communication. Yay me :)

is that the best you've got?

Come on guys, the profile answers are your one chance to catch my attention and this is the best you can come up with?

The one thing ***** is most passionate about:

• I'm not sure what I'm passionate about.

The last book ***** read and enjoyed:

• Well I don't read many books. For me the only book worth reading is the bible.

The most influential person in *****'s life has been:

• Everyone has influenced me to be who I am today.

One thing that only *****'s best friends know is:

• If only my best friends know, then we should probably keep it that way

One thing that only *****'s best friends know is:

• When you become one of my best friends then you will know.

The three things which ***** is most thankful for:

• God
• My family
• All my friends

The things ***** can't live without are:

• Food
• Water
• Shelter
• Sports
• Fun and Happiness

Some additional information ***** wanted you to know is:

• A little mystery keeps things more interesting, don't you think?

Some additional information ***** wanted you to know is:

• There's no one else like me.

I know, there's nothing actually wrong with these answers, but did you even try? Give this a little more effort...please!

the "bases" of eHarmony

I don't know if everyone realizes what it takes to actually email someone on eHarmony; I certainly didn't until I began this experiment. So here's what we see any time we are matched with someone. There's always the option of "FastTracking" someone and moving right to "Open Communication," but typically, this is what we go through, what some of us have sarcastically started calling the "bases" of eHarmony.

	Read his About Me
	Answer his Questions
	Send 1st Questions- 1st Base?
	Read his Answers
	Send Must Haves and Can't Stands-2nd Base?
	Read his Must Haves and Can't Stands
	Send 2nd Questions- 3rd Base?
	Read his Answers
	Answer his Questions
	Read Dr. Warren's Message
	Start Open Communication- HOME RUN?!

As you can see, it is quite the game. There are mulitple choice questions, short answers, and the constant waiting game. And it can take forever!!! Thanks for your patience :)

I didn't start it!

well, ok, if we're posting directly from a match's profile, here's one...

(I've only quoted the most interesting facts)

Occupation: owner and Vice President of a multi-million dollar business Age: 28

The one thing ***** is most passionate about:

• So Im most passionate about livin life! I definately live by the motto "Why wouldn't I." There isn't anything I won't try atleast once but I spend most of my time Fly fishing, Golfing, Skiing(we have an unreal house in Beaver Creek right above the ritz), Bikram yoga(atleast 3 times a week. Tough work out), spending time studying the bible, reading(I usually read 1-2 books per week). Im a huuuuge Broncos fan. They are killin me right now but we have a box at the stadium and I never miss a game. I have 3 business's(143 employess. Ahhh!) They keep me busy for sure. Im super thankful for my friends and family. Im super Lucky!!!

***** typically spends his leisure time:

• Traveling for sure. I have been to Vegas and Mexico over 25 times but I really love spending time in Europe and then just chillin in the mountains works to. Im a Colorado Native. To leaver here would be truly a mistake. I also love reading, golfing, fly fishing, camping, skiing, basketball(The league im in is money!!!), bikram yoga, having big picture conversations with employees, cooking, partners and friends, focusing on god(bible studies and church are key. YA!), looking for new real estate ( the market is perfect right now!), running my internship(It changes these students lives.) Living the dream

The things ***** can't live without are:

• My relationship with god and my family
• Freedom--I usually take 100-150 days off a year
• Traveling--I love rolling all over the world.
• coaches--If your not growing your dying
• cell phone. Love/Hate relationship for sure

Are you for reals?

Maybe he's a really great guy :) Which is why I sent questions...or maybe I communicated first because of the wine...or peer pressure.

Banjos and Paris suggested maybe he usually pays someone to edit for him??!

I just don't get why you would be on eHarmony, but create this kind of first impression.

Who's he trying to get?

am I reading too much into this...

Analyze, re-analyze, over-analyze...is this really the method we (and by "we", I kinda mean "I") should be using to meet someone?

I already have a tendency to think too much about decisions and choices, but when "meeting people" online, there are plenty of acceptable opportunities for me to think, think some more, analyze, and then over-analyze before I act. I mean, should a first impression really be so methodically thought out and edited? because that's what has happened on my profile! When asked some of those first "get to know you questions," is it good that I can take days to answer them?! and, should I have even longer to ask those simple questions back?

And then I start thinking about the guy...did they analyze their answers as much as me? their pictures? their questions? Is my first impression of them just as purposefully crafted and arranged?

what a different way of socializing.

I spend so much time and thought trying to come up with the answer or description that honestly portrays who I am, that I think I might end up being a little misleading. Oops.

So, am I reading too much into all of this? Is this what everyone does on the online dating sites?

jumping

That's what I feel like I'm doing....jumping. Jumping into this whole online dating world and jumping into this crazy blog about it :) Like some of my other "must love" friends on here, I've never done this before. Not sure why. I've seen it work great for people. No one I know has been truly burned by it. It's a scary place to be...what if this doesn't work? or, equally as scary, what if it does?!

So here I am, profile filled out, and awaiting someone to "communicate" with me who I'm willing to write back to (that's going to be another big jump). I know I'm only doing this because there's a group of us taking this big leap together. I'm a little nervous, a bit excited, apprehensive, maybe a little too cautious, and trying really hard to be open to the whole experience, no matter what happens.

What have I learned so far? Just that if someone were to ask me-- What would you do if some friends told you to jump off a cliff?-- I just might jump, and depending on the friends, that's ok :)