chopsticks and toilet bowls

Tonight, out of the blue, I had a couple of those moments when I really, really wanted someone here with me to share in the laughter. You see, I live by myself, and I am constantly doing ridiculous things that I think are hilarious. Well, they're hilarious until I realize that I'm the only one laughing . . . and then it's just kind of sad.

So one of my New Year's resolutions is to eat healthier. As a result, I've been cooking at home more, and I've even been preparing my lunches/dinners for the week in advance. Impressive, eh? Well, tonight, I cooked my dinner, but also threw some chicken in the oven. While watching The Biggest Loser (for inspiration, of course), I completely forgot about the chicken until two hours later! You wouldn't believe how little those breasts were when I pulled them out! Some poor little chick died in vain -- just for me to burn its boobs, then throw them in the trash . . . sad . . . but yes, funny.

But the real kicker came tonight while going through my typical pre-sleep bathroom routine. While brushing my teeth with no contacts in (so I was totally blind), I saw movement on my wall. It was a spider. Fumbling, I grabbed my glasses, so I could see where it went, and I knocked my tweezers into the toilet. Oops! Glasses now on (sight restored), I stared blankly into the bowl. I couldn't flush them. But I wasn't going to stick my hand in there. Gross. (Oh, and where was that spider? Long gone. He must have realized he had been given a second chance to live and booked it.) I went into the kitchen, grabbed a chopstick, and attempted to rescue my tweezers. (This is the point that I was really wishing someone -- namely, a husband -- could be here to enjoy the scenario with me.) Success! But I decided I just couldn't stand to allow them to touch my skin ever again. One more thing tossed in the trash due to my neglect . . . Oh, and don't worry -- I tossed the chopstick too.

I guess I might as well throw its partner away too. It's kind of useless without a mate . . . oh, wait . . .