i'm trying to forget you

Sometimes I wonder if that's what all of this searching, seeking, judging, dreaming, hoping, etc. is all about -- just a girl trying to forget a boy . . . the quirky, imperfect, amazing boy with whom she compares every single one of these logical, systematic, online matches.

I want to be the matchmaker!

I got randomly matched up with this guy who lives in NYC even though I put my radius as 60 miles and I think he would be perfect for Must Love Banjos and Paris.

Here are some key points off of his profile:

• Age: 28
• Height: 6' 1"
• Drinks: About once a week
• I am most passionate about creative and artistic endeavors such as photography, design, architecture, or music--in short, making.
• Learning and experiencing new things, and traveling.

• The things Luke can't live without are:

• computer and internet for work and play
• espresso
• a notebook and pen for writing and doodling
• good music--to relax, to escape, to enjoy

Random bonus: One of his pictures is of him relaxing in Paris.

I think I might start "communicating" with him. He's intriguing. If he doesn't work out for me, I'll suggest that he check out Must Love Banjos and Paris.

I didn't start it!

well, ok, if we're posting directly from a match's profile, here's one...

(I've only quoted the most interesting facts)

Occupation: owner and Vice President of a multi-million dollar business Age: 28

The one thing ***** is most passionate about:

• So Im most passionate about livin life! I definately live by the motto "Why wouldn't I." There isn't anything I won't try atleast once but I spend most of my time Fly fishing, Golfing, Skiing(we have an unreal house in Beaver Creek right above the ritz), Bikram yoga(atleast 3 times a week. Tough work out), spending time studying the bible, reading(I usually read 1-2 books per week). Im a huuuuge Broncos fan. They are killin me right now but we have a box at the stadium and I never miss a game. I have 3 business's(143 employess. Ahhh!) They keep me busy for sure. Im super thankful for my friends and family. Im super Lucky!!!

***** typically spends his leisure time:

• Traveling for sure. I have been to Vegas and Mexico over 25 times but I really love spending time in Europe and then just chillin in the mountains works to. Im a Colorado Native. To leaver here would be truly a mistake. I also love reading, golfing, fly fishing, camping, skiing, basketball(The league im in is money!!!), bikram yoga, having big picture conversations with employees, cooking, partners and friends, focusing on god(bible studies and church are key. YA!), looking for new real estate ( the market is perfect right now!), running my internship(It changes these students lives.) Living the dream

The things ***** can't live without are:

• My relationship with god and my family
• Freedom--I usually take 100-150 days off a year
• Traveling--I love rolling all over the world.
• coaches--If your not growing your dying
• cell phone. Love/Hate relationship for sure

Are you for reals?

Maybe he's a really great guy :) Which is why I sent questions...or maybe I communicated first because of the wine...or peer pressure.

Banjos and Paris suggested maybe he usually pays someone to edit for him??!

I just don't get why you would be on eHarmony, but create this kind of first impression.

Who's he trying to get?

Sunday...

I have a date on Sunday. I feel like a 14 yr old girl, all giddy, and have no idea what I'll say or how I should bring up my life circumstances. How do I tell a boy that 4 months ago I was in the hospital without it being like a bombshell? I think I'm going to practice on my roommates husband and see how it goes. We're going to a wine bar, but I still can't drink for another year. So that'll take some explanation and maybe will open a door.

This time around with eharm it feels different. I've grown up and so many things in my life have changed. A match asked me a great question the other day- do I want my husband's calling in ministry overseas to be the same as his? Yes and no. I don't know if just going on missions trips and adopting children while living in the states will be enough for me. But how do I say "I want someone who wants to live overseas for a few years and fight on behalf of sex-slave girls" without narrowing down all of my choices?? UGH. life...

Morning Laugh

I'm sorry, but this just made me laugh this morning...He didn't have a picture and this is all his profile said. (I deleted his name, just to be kind and sensitive)

I mean how is one to start wanting to communicate with someone who doesn't write much, or says "my woman" and then has no picture...I'm agreeing with most of you about how do you know a person from just reading some words and judging them on the picture?!

The one thing ____ is most passionate about:

• my work and my music and my woman

The three things which ___ is most thankful for:

• job
  
• parents
  
• church

The most influential person in ____ life has been:

• my minister at my church

____ friends describe him as:

• Spontaneous
• Passionate
• Romantic
• Physically Fit

Three of ____ best life-skills are:

• Being a good friend and companion
• Communicating my innermost thoughts and feelings
• Achieving personal goals

The most important thing ____ is looking for in a person is:

• a good heart and to be a real woman about love and sex and be all about being your self

The first thing you'll probably notice about ____ when you meet him:

• my voice because i am a singer

The one thing ____ wishes MORE people would notice about him is:

• i dont know

____ typically spends his leisure time:

• writing songs

The things ____ can't live without are:

• god
• family
• friends good ones that is
• music
• love

The last book ___ read and enjoyed:

• i am a mechanic so i am always reading hot rod and motor trend,and nascar stuff

One thing that only ____ best friends know is:

• i have to think about maby it would be a nick name

Some additional information ____ wanted you to know is:

• i am a musician i play the drums and i sing with the main attractions

Confession: I judge books by their cover.

Confessions: I read books that look interesting on the outside.
I buy wine that is marked with a well designed label.
I "communicate" with men that I find physically attractive.

I never thought that I was "that person". I never thought I was the kind of person that wouldn't date people because I wasn't physically attractive to them immediately. I always thought that those people were superficial, but I just realized that I am "that person". I have gotten mad at guys in the past that have said things like "you're an amazing woman, but I'm just not attracted to you". Now, I feel like I'm starting to understand what they meant. Yesterday, I received a "communication request" from a guy that on paper looks amazing. He really wants to be working among the poor and oppressed. He plays the guitar and loves going to concerts. He loves to travel and experience new cultures. He reads. Unfortunately, I don't find him attractive at all. Did I answer his "communication request"? Yes. I answered it mainly out of intrigue. Will I close him before we get to "open communication"? Yes. Do I feel bad about that? Yes. I feel horrible. I will push the close button and then a screen will pop up where I get to check a little box. eHarmony will say choose from a list of reasons that finish this statement: "I have decided to close communication because...". I will check the box next to "Other". "Other" in the online dating world means "I don't find you attractive". eHarmony needs to just add "I don't find you attractive" as an option. Let's all just be honest with each other.

Negative about online dating: You have to impress someone by a few photos and words in black and white. More thoughts on this to come...

i do not want to live in the suburbs . . .

. . . but what do I want?

It's a question I've been struggling with for the past twelve days. While skimming profiles and viewing photos, I seem to be awfully good at knowing what I don't want, but I can't seem to nail down exactly what it is that I'm looking for in a guy.

Sure, I know a few traits:

• taller than me
• has an appreciation for music, literature, the arts
• likes to read
• enjoys traveling
• makes me laugh

But I'm finding there are other aspects that I enjoy as well, and they're incredibly difficult to nail down in a profile.

This weekend, I was talking to a friend, a guy that I adore, and he said something totally off-the-wall . . . actually, it was something that was so real, so down to earth, so painfully honest, that it seemed, well, eccentric. And it made me laugh. I found myself thinking, That's it! That's what I want. But I can't detect that in a profile. And I'm not so sure that kind of guy is online, looking for a girl like me. That kind of guy is out there somewhere. I think. But how do I find him?

The kind of guy that's online, asking to communicate with me is the type of guy who hopes he'll be living in the suburbs in 15 years. I'm not making this up. Here's the proof: answers to the multiple choice questions I sent to one particular gentleman. Based on these two questions alone (and lack of an interesting profile), I closed him out. This is not me. So not me.

	Where do you see yourself living in 15 years? A) a nice apartment in the city B) a house in the suburbs C) a house in a small town D) a house in the country
	If you could take a dream getaway, where would you most likely choose to spend a week? A) Paris B) Hawaii C) hiking in the mountains D) a cottage by the sea

I'm not giving up on this yet, but I am feeling rather pessimistic.

So far, I have been intrigued by one guy online. Just one. I sent him a "communication request," and he did not respond.

Of course.

So I "nudged" him.

Nothing.

And so I wait . . . always waiting.