it's the most wonderful time of the year?

This weekend, I did a little Christmas decorating, which is typically one of my favorite activities of the year. And it was fun, but . . . at some point in the middle of perfectly positioning the sparkly garland and hanging my lone stocking above the fireplace, I realized that I was doing this alone. Again.

I fought through the tears with the help of Bing Crosby and a delicious latte, but I couldn't help but focus on my loneliness. For some reason, Christmas reminds me that I am single. Maybe it's the lovey-dovey couples everywhere, the increase in engagements, the snow and the romance it brings, or having to face my family and all of my (much) younger siblings and cousins who are now married and having kids of their own. Just once, I would love to take my handsome, artsy, funny boyfriend home with me. But, once again, that won't happen this year.

Until that day comes, I'll just focus on how easy it is for me to choose where I'll spend the holidays -- no fighting over his parents' house or mine. That's something to be thankful for, right?

Sorry if this is a depressing post. And yes, I'm the same girl who posted a list of things she was thankful for on Thanksgiving. That still stands. So congratulations: you have now seen the full scope of my mood swings! :)

thank you.

(photo source)

today is a day of thanks, so I thought I'd point out a few things, in particular that I am thankful for.

the ladies who have decided to join me in this dating venture and understand the challenges that come along with being single

encouragement from friends who are in good, healthy relationships

laughter

being single, as opposed to being in a bad relationship

the opportunities that being single provides

the hundreds of men who i've been matched with on eharmony, who remind me that there are still single guys out there -- and they want to be in a relationship

all of you, dear readers

hope

whiskey? no?

Okay, so I did it.

I actually went on a date with someone that I met online. Actually, I don't know if you can call it a "date." My friend refers to it as a "meet-up." I like this term better. He didn't pay. Well, he tried, but I beat him there (it was just a coffee shop, and we were just grabbing a light lunch), and I didn't feel like awkwardly waiting for him to get there, or making it seem like I was waiting on him because I wanted him to pay for it. Actually, I think he was bothered by it . . .

Well, maybe I should back up a bit . . .

So this guy and I started chatting about a month ago. He's perfect on paper: artsy, interesting, funny, smart, has a good job, etc. Just one e-mail into the "open communication" phase, he asked if I wanted to meet up. After an incredibly encouraging e-mail from a friend, I decided to say yes. I mean, why not, right? Still, I was nervous.

First of all, every single one of his photos online looked like a different person. How was I supposed to identify him? This turned out to be fairly easy in reality -- and so did the date, in general.

Tip: If you're nervous about meeting someone from online, meet up for lunch, and have a deadline. For example, we met on a Thursday, and I had to be back at work at a certain time. If it goes well, then great. If it doesn't, at least you have an out.

Anyway, he was a really nice guy, and everything that he said in his profile seemed to be true. He was interesting, artsy, etc., but I honestly wasn't attracted to him, and I felt like he was a little awkward. Also, I had to carry the conversation the majority of the time, which I did not enjoy. I found myself looking at the clock, which was strategically placed on the wall, right above his head.

We left the coffee shop, gave each other a hug, and he said, "Well, I'll e-mail you soon." I said, "Yeah, sure, definitely." But as I said it, I was already plotting the outline of my rejection e-mail. Brash? Maybe. But (and this may be a really weird statement), I found myself thinking that he was not the kind of guy that I could have fun with at a bluegrass show. I want a guy who will drink whiskey, slightly embarrass me by being overly chatty with everyone around us, and just, in general, have a good time. I don't think he was that guy.

Ironically, though I planned my rejection, he has not contacted me. It's interesting how quickly I can go from feeling like the rejector to the rejectee. (Are those even real words?) Yikes. I'm realizing that I may be a bit more vain than I had thought. Uh oh.

So . . . will I go out with anyone else from eHarmony? Maybe. I definitely feel more comfortable with the idea now. And I have proven to myself that I can turn a somewhat awkward situation into an okay one. Apparently, I'm good at talking about myself for an hour!

The fun never stops

Well, two Match dates in one week = one tired girl. Seriously, that is too much to be that witty for that many hours, especially when the second date lasted eight hours! That's a full day of work friends.

Let me back up a bit. First date of the week was fine but nothing to write home about (although he was awfully good looking). He actually couldn't look me in the eye. I wasn't sure if I should chalk it up to nerves or what but the conservation just wasn't there so I haven't persued a second date.

Second date was on a Friday night and we met for Happy Hour which led to drinks which led to dancing. And did I say drinks? I think that helped fuel the eight hour marathon. At the end of the date, he asked if I wanted to hang out again because he had such a great time. I agreed and proposed going on a date a few days later to this event I had free tickets to. He agreed and said he would call the day of the event to figure out when to meet up, etc.

Date came of said event and no word from this guy. An hour before the event, I start to panic mostly because I realize he probably doesn't want to go and now I am dateless/friendless to this event downtown. I scramble to find a friend that can take his place and everyone is busy. Awesome. I text him to make sure he doesn't want to go and finally hear back from him several hours later that night. Text reads - Oh my god I'm so sorry I haven't called! Bad day today

Really? Bad day? I'm having a bad day too now that I am missing this event I had free tickets to! I don't respond. Next morning - receive another text of apology and a promise to call later to explain him standing me up. He does call that night with an explanation. I'm not saying it was a good one, but I did say I would go out with him again but that he has to plan the date to make up for it and it had better be good:)

Food Meet Recap

So, I met my match on Saturday. We went to lunch and had good conversation for quite a while. There were no fights, no arguments, and while neither of us pulled any punches, we still had a good time.
Like I suspected, there weren't any romantic sparks, but maybe the beginning of a good friendship.

So, not much else on the meeting matches front, but I met one!

when coffee becomes scary . . .

The time has come: I have an official eHarmony date. We're meeting for coffee/lunch on a weekday. Because we both work for companies that give us a one-hour lunch break, this is good. Very good. If the date is terrible, I only have to stay there for a minimum of 60 minutes -- actually, less. If it's good, then . . . well, great!

In the mean time, I'll be worrying about

• what to wear
• what to say
• actually identifying him at the coffee shop
• not running into anyone I know
• etc., etc., etc.

Oh boy.

Stay tuned.

I was right

Not sure if anyone remembers my last post about the guy choosing prepping for his bike riding race on Sunday over drinks with me on a Friday night (we made plans for Tuesday instead). I'd love to say we met up and it was love at first sight and by the end of the night I was teasing him about saying he couldn't meet up with me.

No, instead I arrived to work on Tuesday (the night of the meet up) to an email in my inbox titled "Oops". I'm not going to copy and paste, but it was about three sentences and said something to the effect of, "I've become otherwise engaged with someone else." He must have had one hell of a weekend then! I knew something was off about the whole situation and I can now see he was just postponing me until he probably had a date with another girl. I can say this because I have done the same thing. Oh, his loss I suppose. My favorite part of the whole situation was the subject of the email - Oops.

Good news is, have two dates lined up for next week. Hopefully I don't get blown off for them having to shave or something.